Wednesday, December 27, 2006

We've Got ALL the RIght Friends

So I was just giving it a little thought, and if I could bring all the people I know together into one location and work our way thru the ego mania (only 3/4 suffer from this affliction myself included) then we would probably save the world. Honestly I think at this point in my journey I have met almost everyone who does just about anything you could think of that might be useful. And if I haven't met them personally I have only one degree of separation. I have made mention of forming the new A-team/rat pack before, but this goes well above and beyond any of that. They come from all walks of life and most of them want to help create a better world after they make it. I say fuck making it for a moment; let's just make a better world now. People spend their whole lives trying to make it, but the mind won't allow it to take place. There will always be another goal that needs to be achieved. I don't want to achieve any other goals unless somehow it can benefit humanity otherwise it just does not have a lasting impact.

My New years resolution is to put aside my own meglomanical ego and stand out of the way of progress that will benefit humanity. I think it is important to own up to how we our sabotaging ourselves and the henceforth the world around us. We give so much of our energy towards being annoyed, angry, scared, anxious, sad, etc... If we gave all of that energy towards something that made our lives better and other people's lives better imagine how much better the planet would be. I see the change; and yes it is not as overt as the destruction, but it is there and I believe in 4th quarter comebacks. I have to believe it because we are in the fourth quarter. THink about this for a moment. You achieve all of your goals and then you and your family get snuffed out by the effects of global warming or the ever increasing war machine that humanity puts most of its resources into. We can all be feed and have everything we need, but instead we try and figure out ways to have bigger, better, and more things Enough is enough i-pod stops here.

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Lets Revisit the Present Moment

Okay so I am in LA at coffee shop called the Unurban as I listen to Usher in the background. I dance and bop my head as some jewish girl named Joey laughs. My pal Mandel talks about the Burning Man New Years eve party in LA. New Years has never been a day that seems so different to me accept for the fact that it is much more expensive to get into all events because it is New Years. I look slightly ahead and there are quite a few paths in front of me. Sundance Film Festival seems to be calling me along with India. We all have the possibility of going anywhere at anytime. I was thinking about going up to Santa Cruz or down to San Diego or maybe both. I was thinking about flying directly from LA to India or flying into NYC and being there for a few days. Yet I don't want to occupy myself with all the possibilities because it can almost drive you a bit a batty. Freedom is truly a great responsibility and we make choices and these creates the other possibilities that we will have to choose from. I try to just go from gut and not over analyze because that merely makes me dizzy. I believe John Lennon says "Life is what happens while your busy making plans". So drop the plans for the moment and leave yourself a little more flexibility of just being in the present moment.

I just want you to all know that I love you and all of you have come in and out my life as it was meant to be. We are all part of an intricate design, but all we have is the intensity that this single solitary moment holds. Are we open to the lifeforce that exists all around in this moment. Nothing is perfect and it does not need to be perfect instead let it be free flowing and let go of the past and stop worrying about a day that may or may not come and love wherever you are and whoever you are with.

Saturday, December 16, 2006

Resolutions that You Should Not Keep!

People are always babbling about what the New Years resolution is for the new year. Yet they rarely follow thru and feel guilty about it later on in the year. So I came up with an idea. This year make all of New Year's Resolutions awful ideas and that way when you complete half of them or all of them you will feel both excited and disappointed. Below are some resolutions to ponder not fulfilling.

1) Think about the most destructive person you have ever dated and tell them you really want to make a clean start of it for the new year, but first you should ask them to cash your paycheck.

2) Pay off your debt my selling naked pictures of your roommates

3) Track down an ex that is the furthest away from you geographically (think Apollo moon mission) and beg them to take you back.

4)Make the big Mac one of your four food groups in fact make it your only food group

5) Take up unsocial smoking only smoke in anti-social situations such as yoga retreats (think silent Vipassano retreats) and meditation centers or anywhere where smoking is either outlawed or highly discouraged

6) Fight for an unworthy cause like smoker's rights or the continued bombing of people in foreign countries that you don't know. Yes I know both are awful but it might actually bring attention to the lack of the resistance in our country towards liberation of Iraq

7) Give speeches to large audiences on the benefits of being oppressed by an imperial power

8) Sleep with your cousins that you only see at the occassional family function (are they really family anyway?)this way increasing your and their black sheep status.

9) Join a local gang as a way of increasing your self esteem in the short run it might work and in the long run (well you might not have one to speak of).

10)Get all of the unattractive people you know yourself included and make your own imitation of Justin Timberlakes "Bring Sexy Back" song. The world certainly could use more of this

11) Convince bulimics to become aneroxic instead because that way at least hungry people can get fed and food won't be wasted

12) Poke holes in all the condoms in your house and act suprised when your roommates keep getting girls pregnant.

13) Start a campaign to get Henry Kissinger elected president with the slogan "The white house needs more compassion"

14)Try to take yourself more seriously and at least get completely and irrationally offended 8 times a day to keep your stress levels up.

15) Insist on having a naked christmas party with all your favorite mormon and orthodox jewish friends.

16) Continue your attempts at bringing sexy back at old age homes

17) Announce that Flavor Flav is indeed a prophet sent by Elijiah and anyone that can not see this obviously works for Satan

18) Be more open to trying new things: like smoking crack and shooting up heroin

Good Vibrations Documentary

Friday, December 15, 2006

Old Wounds Still There

How are you? Me I am just a jelly fish floating around. Sometimes we think we have all our emotions in check and then one person comes along ( In my case a woman) and we fall apart worse then foreign policy in Iraq (okay maybe not that bad, but still pretty close). Why is it that we have such a longing for certain people and the mere thought of them reentering our lives makes us get excited, nervous and maybe even a little angry all at once. I have traveled a bit and I can tell you that traveling seems to be helpful for heart break because it puts you deeply in the current moment. Because it forces you to listen to your intution and you know that all things change regardless of what we may want. We all have this current moment and then it is gone and on to the next moment. It is a stream and gets away from us. Our emotions are streams and they get away from us going in all different directions chasing a love that almost no one is capable of giving us. We all have such fear around the word love. It triggers so many different ideas and feelings. It makes us feel very alive, but also puts us in state where our ego can be devastated. Somehow we decide that one person has the ability to determine how we will feel about ourselves.

As I type this I can very clearly feel these emotions. This person we love makes us realize all the doubts we have and fears that we have of not being worthwhile. I want to know the greater depths of love which means I have to not view love in terms of possesing someone or being possesed. Love is something that desires to move freely and not be constrained. I have found myself in intense moments of bliss merging between the thighs of one who can make me so high and so low. I have a great ability to be even keel in my emotions but certain women can make me feel a little bit like a wreck. Yet I need to wreck otherwise it is an illusion on top of a delusion and I will be suffering brain contusions. We are young and no one can tell us where we stand, no promises and no demands. Yes love is a Battlefield in so many different ways. I desire to know the way of the peaceful warrior and to not chase fools gold. I love very deeply and continue to know greater depths and also know that rarely has my love been as fully unselfish as the pure love that we read about and babble about. That type of love takes place in the deep recesses of total silence.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Goodbye Mind Hello Happiness

I understand this feeling on occassion of the mind just being overwhelmed with complete and utter nonsense. Here is something you can do about it. Write it on paper, speak it out loud or babble in complete nonsense and get it out of your system. Don't hold onto it because it blocks you from this moment. Just SHOUT SHOUT SHOUT LET IT ALL OUT because these are things we can all do without. That's right I'm talking to you come on. Mind you can not win this battle for you are merely a series of programs and the soul shall triumph over you. Return to the breath and feel the self realization. We are all capable of this, but we resist this simple solution. People seem to have this idea that the answer to life involves being able to solve a series of quantum physics problems and then learning to be fluent in Sanskrit so that they can find their peace. People's minds do not like the idea that peace of mind is easy. It makes them ask themselves why they have not already done it then. If it so easy why haven't more people figured it out. It is one of those things that is so easy and the mind desires to make it complicated. People are so used to working real hard for everything in their life and the idea that the most significant thing can be so easy it's totally mind boggling. Stop! sit still and just listen for a while. View babies as your role models. They are usually very happy and they also breathe very deeply. Collectively if we all start to breathe deeply we will achieve more. Consider oxygen to be your greatest God/love/power whatever you want to call it. Inhale stomach all the way out exhale stomach all the way in. Keep doing it and don't surprised if you start to feel a bit more energized after a brief period of time.

Enjoy the simple pleasures and experience them fully, allow yourself to be in a constant state of expression. We all deserve to get away for a holiday as Billy Joel sings, but understand that the holiday must take place in your mind first. Get away from your thoughts for a bit and stay in the state of "no mind" or "buddha mind". That is the area in between thoughts where there is actually no thought just a feeling of awareness. Turn your mind off and turn on to your breath because that is where you will find your peace.

Old Wounds Still There

How are you? Me I am just a jelly fish floating around. Sometimes we think we have all our emotions in check and then one person comes along ( In my case a woman) and we fall apart worse then foreign policy in Iraq (okay maybe not that bad, but still pretty close). Why is it that we have such a longing for certain people and the mere thought of them reentering our lives makes us get excited, nervous and maybe even a little angry all at once. I have traveled a bit and I can tell you that traveling seems to be helpful for heart break because it puts you deeply in the current moment. Because it forces you to listen to your intution and you know that all things change regardless of what we may want. We all have this current moment and then it is gone and on to the next moment. It is a stream and gets away from us. Our emotions are streams and they get away from us going in all different directions chasing a love that almost no one is capable of giving us. We all have such fear around the word love. It triggers so many different ideas and feelings. It makes us feel very alive, but also puts us in state where our ego can be devastated. Somehow we decide that one person has the ability to determine how we will feel about ourselves.

As I type this I can very clearly feel these emotions. This person we love makes us realize all the doubts we have and fears that we have of not being worthwhile. I want to know the greater depths of love which means I have to not view love in terms of possesing someone or being possesed. Love is something that desires to move freely and not be constrained. I have found myself in intense moments of bliss merging between the thighs of one who can make me so high and so low. I have a great ability to be even keel in my emotions but certain women can make me feel a little bit like a wreck. Yet I need to wreck otherwise it is an illusion on top of a delusion and I will be suffering brain contusions. We are young and no one can tell us where we stand, no promises and no demands. Yes love is a Battlefield in so many different ways. I desire to know the way of the peaceful warrior and to not chase fools gold. I love very deeply and continue to know greater depths and also know that rarely has my love been as fully unselfish as the pure love that we read about and babble about. That type of love takes place in the deep recesses of total silence.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

My Guru Is Calling Me

Recently I have been feeling this unexplainable feeling that my guru is calling me towards them. I have been meeting an ever increasing series of amazing people. Recently I went to Sebastian and the one they call "Ma". The best way to describe her is imagine if your jewish mother from Brooklyn became a spiritual guru. It was a really wonderful and powerful experience that tugged at my heart. Yet, she is not my guru, by my guru is coming very soon. I think when you meet your guru it is probably like meeting your wife/husband. I am ready to receive any divine gifts that they choose to bestow upon me. I am very excited about my encounter and in many ways Paramanhansa Yoganda the author of "autobiography of a Yogi" is my guru, but I will also be blessed enough to have a guru in the flesh. That encounter shall be taking place in the next 2-3 months. The essence of guru is one who dispels the darkness and helps you to see the way. At least this is my understanding of the guru. They help you to see thru the facade or the maya of everyday living yet to also have a respect for the Maya, but not to be attached to it.

I look forward to sharing with you my experience with my guru. I believe that they are India, but your guru can be anywhere and everywhere. To me India does not seem that far away though I am aware that things take place very differently there then here, but I am looking foward to the journey. May I send all of you blessings in finding your peaceful center and reaching a state of ultimate bliss.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Latest Montage

Miss Piggy meets Mr. T:



ET's Secret Scandal:



Te'DeVan: Wandering Healer



Slack Prophet for President: Interview #1

Monday, December 04, 2006

Luaghter Laughter Laughter

I have been laughing my head off quite a bit as of late though my blogs have not had enough humor. So this one is raw like Eddie Murphy before he started doing Disney movies. Don't trust anyone on their cell phone they are conspiring against you in ways that make John Ashcroft seem sweet. The keebler elves are blatant homosexuals there is nothing latent about it folks. They all live in a closet of a tree packing fudge all day long. I have no problems with this and I respect them immensely being an elf is not easy and being a gay elf means they won't let you be in lord of the rings. Speaking of rings, Zen is not a Tiffany's box. In reality a limb should come with every new diamond purchased so that you know what you are paying for.

Secretly I want to be an evangelist. I could smote these guys and beat them at their own game. Use their language to make your point. Ronald Regan was terrified of a small Indian man named OSHO. In fact most of the world was scared of him and countries were given money to kick him out. One day I will be kicked out of the United States. I won't break any laws I will merely make too many people nervous. I accept this fact as part of my journey. I have been kicked out of college campuses and small towns without breaking any rules, next up get kicked out of the United States.

Develop a following of people that can think for themselves and watch governments cower. Killing millions of people while dressed in a beautiful pressed suit makes you a politician. Being dressed in shabby clothes and killing one white American makes you a murderer/thug/villian (go figure). Perhaps we should buy criminals nicer clothes and encourage them to run for politcal office. That way we will respect them as strong patriotic people when they slaughter lots of foreign people. Sauve and Savage are only separated by a suit, tie, and clean shave.

I want to say something to anyone out there watching America's Top Model. I understand your addiction it is like watching a train that is about to wreck. Maybe that is why people can't seem to take their eyes off of me. I am bound to cause some long overdue trouble. Sometimes I wonder who the hell are the people reading my blog. I hope they laugh, cry, think or quit their job and become their dream.

Let the sponsorship come just like fight club. Let those in charge give us their own tools so that we can dismantle their house. The Yerts, treehouses, igloos, and huts are the wave of the future.

Sunday, December 03, 2006

I Miss You

I wake up and I go to sleep and I miss you. Everywhere I go I see you even if you are not there. I was thinking about you when I was a little kid. I used to have conversations with you before I could prove your existence. How could I not feel you and then; when day I found you for a moment. A glimpse of you was all that I needed to experience so that I was motivated to keep going. I intensely miss you and I know that I will be with you soon. You are me and I feel and sense that in a way that I could never explain.

We all miss you, but some of us seem to give up. I will never give up on you. People tell me not to give you up and turn back. I don't even know where back is anymore. I only know how to move forward. I am focusing on the now and not the how. Focus on this now. DOn't let that sentence fly over your heard. Focus on time, place, and location. Think about where you are at this moment and bring awareness into your life. Let the mind become clear. When the mind is a blank slate I am in this moment and when we I am in this moment I realize that I miss you but that I am getting closer to you all the time; even if it does not appear that way on the surface. Yet the surface is a mirage, but I will not be fooled for long by any mirage.
I will find you because I seek you with such divine fever and nothing will stand in the way of me finding you.

What is this you? For all of us at different times there is a different you and we can all find that you. Don't trust me about much or anyone else for that matter, but know that you too can find the YOU.

Friday, December 01, 2006

Hungry Like the Hoff

I have a good friend of mine, let's just call him the Hoff, and I absolutely love this fellow and he totally reminds me of desires that I have to chase after women. He fully and completely immerses himself in these chases and has little or no interest in any women that are chasing him. I must admit I used to give chase and on rare occassion I will still give chase, but ultimately I realize that I prefer for these things to simply flow. I don't want to hunt them down life a wolf stalking his prey waiting to make his move.

But sometimes instead of chasing I just get angry, distant or aloof. I particularly feel this way when my desire towards them is mostly sexual. I think sexaul desire is a wonderful thing, but I want to have the other components involved as well. Even if I could psyche a girl into liking me why would I want to do that. I am not a 2 for 1 special during happy hour. Dig me now or don't dig me at all. I don't want to sell you anything and I don't want to woo you. If I woo you it was only because I was wooing life and you were part of that life. The Hoff loves to do the wine and dine thing with women, I on the other hand, like to hang out at the park/beach/wherever and if it clicks then great and if not that is also great. Heck, sometimes it is better. In fact I would like to thank many women that did not return my phone calls.

Some of you may think that I am lying or being insecere, but I am being totally truthful when I say that. Where I get burned is by women that pursue me and then if I reciprocate they get nervous and pull away. These are the women that burn me. If you don't have any interest that is fabulous, but just be honest about it, but often you need to intuit this on your own because they will not tell you. They want you to feed their ego by chasing them. I support them in feeding their ego, but ladies I ain't the one. My friend the Hoff on the other hand for the moment is your man. He is hungry and is looking to feed and he is never satisfied and nor am I satisfied and therefore I see the absurdity of chasing and being hungry like the Hoff. Of course I too am Hungry like the Hoff, but as I am honest with the situation I can see it for exactly what it is. I am trying to get something from you that you can't give me and you are trying to get something from me that I can't give you.

It is truly that simple and we will either merge or not merge, but regardless I need to find this inside of myself and you need to do the same. The Hoff is unrelenting like any great hunter and I respect him greatly for his hunting prowess as it reminds me of my own. At the same time, seeing that I am a vegetarian, even if I slay the deer what good does it do me. I am somewhat like El guape at times wanting the woman to open herself up to me in the same way that a flower does. This takes patience and though there are some flowers that are completely open already they are not the flowers that I want and sometimes I have indulged in them. Now I am remaining steadfast in not settling on the flower. I only accept flowers that I will truly appreciate and my days of deer hunting never brought true fullfillment and always left me hungry for more.

The World is Coming To a Beginning

I was inspired to write this blog because every now and then someone says to me "aren't you that guy that has the sign that says the world is coming to an end?" It is in this moment that I realize how delusional all of the sane people are and how they lump everything together into the same pile of stuff. Most of you guys know the gist of my signs, but for those you who don't know; one says "6 foot 7 inch jew will freestyle rap for you" and the other says "Famous intutive spiritual healer, over 19,000 healings, stress physical emotional pain, talk to me". Yet, people insist to me that my sign says something completely different. Never doubt people's ability to project their own preconceptions onto you. In other words they see exactly what they want to see. The other humorous experience I have is homosexual men who think that I am trying to convert them to christianity and that I am calling them sinners for their sexual orientation. People also insist that I think that I am Jesus and that I go around introducing myself as Jesus to all those who will listen. Even after I say "Hi, I'm Te'DeVan," they will will respond, "Hi Jesus," as if they didn't even hear my name. These people have great spin doctor capabilities and it would serve them well if they worked on a political campaign.

Yet, I am capable of doing the same thing. Where others see people carrying around signs that say "The world is coming to an end" I see a sign that actually says, "The world is coming to a beginning". This is completely true because every end demands a beginning and they take place simultaneously. So really all of these people with signs that say "The world is coming to an end," are merely reminding us that the world is coming to a beginning. I am thankful for their reminder and we should all take the time and thank them as well for reminding of this greater truth. The world is coming to a beginning. I would also like to thank all the people that misconstrue what I am saying or doing because you supply a great abundance of laughter in the life of me and all my friends.
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